Self Care

At soft volume, play instrumental music that’s up-tempo or lively.

Find a comfortable place to sit or recline and begin to deep belly breathe.

As you begin to relax, allow your mind to let go of negative self-talk and thoughts. If an “I should/shouldn’t” or similar judgement enters your thoughts, gently mind-sweep it away.

Imagine yourself in a difficult or uncomfortable situation (e.g. a job interview, giving a school presentation, writing an exam) and envision yourself going successfully through each stage of the whole process—beginning, middle, and end. See yourself make it through triumphantly!

If your inner critic shows up in your thoughts, gently mind-sweep it away. If it returns, sweep again, without becoming frustrated or giving up.

Find a positive mantra to repeat to yourself as you listen to your musical selection: “I am capable of…”; “I am good at…”; “What I like best about myself is…” and finish off with another upbeat song with affirming lyrics.

Try a breathing exercise.

Put your earbuds in, step out into the world and go for a substantial walk. Alter your pace to match your playlist – get your heartbeat pumping, slow down, speed up.

As your breathing rate increases, start a thinking mantra (e.g. “let go,” “stress gone”; “peace in/stress out”). As your rate decreases, repeat a version of “peace in/stress out.”

While you move and listen, allow your mind to let go of negative self-talk and thoughts. Practice patience and kindness with yourself. Is the thing you’re stressing about truly worth the trouble and effort? Life is short – let go of bad stress. Try to channel the energy into your walking and moving.

Repeat as necessary. Forgive yourself if it doesn’t go well on certain days. Keep trying. Keep walking. Keep listening to your affirming playlist.

Or, if you’d like to work out your stress through percussion, drum out your stress or shadow drum for stress release!

If you’re angry and are hoping to calm down, try one of the breathing/relaxation exercises.

Pick out some “angry” music and make a playlist. Put your earbuds in or, if you’re alone, crank up the tunes and dance or exercise your anger out. Or sing along. Or act out the confrontation you’d like to have at the moment. Ending up breathless is ok. Feel your anger release as you move in sync with the music.

Allow your breathing rate to decrease, and think or speak aloud a mantra (e.g. “let go”; “peace in/anger out”).

Or, if you’d like to work out your anger through percussion, drum out your anger or shadow drum for anger/stress release!

Compose an angry song (like Alanis Morissette did!) and release your anger through your words, voice, and instrument.

Improve your sleep routine: stay away from screens an hour before bed, using that time to wind down with something relaxing instead. Try to go to bed and wake up at the same times every day, too.

Make a playlist of white noise or soothing musical selections that you would not usually listen to other times of the day. This is your bedtime list – play it at low volume only at bedtime; play it only in your bedroom. Dim your lights and turn your technology OFF. Your brain will gradually come to associate this list with sleeping and prepping for sleep.

Try deep belly breathing or one of the breathing/relaxation exercises.

Think and repeat a mantra (e.g. “time to sleep”; “the day is over”; “my only responsibility is to relax and sleep”; “even if I don’t fall asleep, I will relax and rest”). If your mind wanders or begins negative self-talk either about you or your inability to get to sleep, gently bring your thoughts back to your mantra.

Continue to breathe and allow your body to “hitch a ride” with the music you’re listening to.

If after 20 minutes or so, you still can’t sleep, tell yourself you have the option to get up and attend to some pressing task, but that you can also stop at any time and return to bed.

To start: ask yourself if a given task is doable within your timeframe. Are you being realistic? Can you break your workload into manageable chunks with a realistic timeline for completion? Do you have a reasonable checklist to help you manage time and tasks?

If you’ve procrastinated, ask yourself why. Are you afraid of success? Are you a perfectionist? Are you tired or feeling sick? Be honest with yourself. Can you seek an extension for your assignment? Or is it time to leap in and take the plunge?

Make a playlist of music that will help you set a good rhythm for getting stuff done and shutting out psychological noise. Make sure you choose pieces that won’t distract you (songs with lyrics are not usually recommended for homework like essay composition). Upbeat music may be appropriate for cleaning your room; slower-paced instrumental music may be best for work requiring brainpower and focus.

As you compile your time management/anti-procrastination playlists, choose pieces you don’t always listen to. Be adventurous and musically curious.

As you begin your work—physical or mental—visualize the end goal. Estimate where you might end on your playlist as you finish your task(s). Use the musical selections as a series of goal posts to mark your stages of completion.

Have a “ta-da” piece to skip to at the end!

At soft volume, play instrumental music, 20-30 minutes in length, with soothing or calming qualities.

Find a comfortable place to sit or recline and begin to deep belly breathe.

As you begin to relax, identify the place you’re feeling pain – even if it’s emotional pain, you may feel it in a certain place in your body.

Imagine breathing the music all around you, and then entering you deeper and deeper until the pinpoint of the pain. Imagine the sounds/vibrations surrounding the pain and breaking it apart into thousands of tiny parts.

Continue to imagine the particles of pain being breathed out of your body or carried away by the stream of music you are listening to.

As pain subsides, continue to breathe deeply. Allow yourself to continue to relax, while remembering to let go of negative thoughts, worries, images. Invite the music to work through your body.

Repeat as necessary.

Poet Thomas Lynch said, “"We get no choice. If we love, we grieve." Most of us will be lucky to love another. Most of us will grieve in our lives: the loss of a pet, a grandparent, our parents, a job, a chance, a romantic partner, our health. Music can help us through the darkest tunnel of our grief and loss and back into the light.

Choose some music that reminds you of or has a special connection to the person or thing you’ve lost. B) Also choose music or make a playlist of soothing songs or pieces that have positive associations for you.

As you listen to the music with special connection, allow yourself to experience grief and feelings tied to your loss.

The music may activate your need to cry, to rant or holler, to talk to someone you love and trust, to write, paint, or play/compose your own music. Follow these impulses. Allow the strongest emotions to move through you.

Once you’ve experienced being sad or angry or frustrated (or all of that and more), switch over to the more positive playlist.

As you listen, the music may motivate you to express yourself creatively or talk further with your trusted confidante. Acknowledge your loss; discuss your fears. Take all the time you need.

Repeat the entire process, as needed. Join a support or therapy group, if you wish.

Make a commitment to honour the person/pet/thing you’ve lost or to work on improving your life to seek out new opportunities, to not neglect the things and people most important to you.

Arrange a time to meet with someone close to you. Play a piece or several pieces of music that have meaning for the two of you. Listen together in silence. After the piece(s) have finished playing, start the conversation by talking about the music and the lyrics. You may wish to set some guidelines for continuing to talk or moving through the relationship issues by agreeing to: actively listen, be empathetic, use “I feel” statements rather than “you do” or “you make me” statements. Try not to bring up past disagreements. Ask for clarification. Continue the conversation with soft and soothing music as your background.

If a conflict begins, take a break. Go for a walk. Take a time-out. Try again later.

Keep practicing. Duets take more practice than solos.

If necessary, seek an outside counsellor to help you through.

Make each other a playlist that communicates your feelings and expresses your affection.